Life is a mess.
So much so that what I can provide for myself is not enough.
I am beyond thankful for my support network, not just for listening and understanding, but for helping me to believe in a bigger view. It's something I have trouble with, given the accumulated negative experiences.
MK reinforced to me that things change. Even the most fear-driven, routinized person will have encounters that will force them to rethink, to change. Life brings this, no matter what.
While I certainly believe this about my life, I have seen it not happen for others (my father, as an example). But I want to believe is this beauty of life, so I was glad for her voicing it.
Patrick reinforced to me that the truth matters. That the most convenient covers for cowardice will turn on those who employ them. That in later encounters, perhaps years down the line, the suppressed truths would come roaring back.
As is with the beauty of life, I believe this about truth. But I've become a cynic about others, who may have the best intentions but minimize the gap between those intentions and their impact on others. And once someone buys into their own excuses, what's the incentive to turn away from doing that, particularly as the gap grows ever wider?
But to hear that the most self-protecting, self-justifying brain would still never quite manage to minimize away the truth - it was deeply reassuring. To hear that truth, and life (beauty) stand as they are, despite whatever efforts we might employ to muddy or dismiss them - it was an reaffirmation of my faith in something eternal, absolute.
I have to hold tight to these beliefs, given the times that I'm in.
Lexi wanted to make sure I'm taking care of myself first, before worrying about what may or may not happen for others, what they may or may not realize about me, how they may or may not feel and what consequences that might have for them. Knowing all of this takes care of both.