what substances they use to cope with daily life
other common coping mechanisms
how they express rage and grief
if/how they carry shame
how they express humor and find levity
how they express their creative impulses
if/how they work with their hands
their level of initiation and follow-up
their ability to set and hold boundaries
how they navigate conflict
how they take care of themselves
the depth and breadth of their relationships
their relationship with family members / people they grew up with
how their attraction to me may be similar (or not) to previous relationships they've had
how far they've traveled (emotionally and physically)
their orientation toward learning and growth, and trying new things
their ability to read energy, vibes, situations
their level of political consciousness
what identity categories they hold closely and why
how integrated they are with their masculine and feminine sides
their relationship with spirituality