One of the most gratifying things about my most recent Europe trip was bonding with my youngest sister Jenny. Growing up, the five-year age gap had seemed insurmontable, but over time it has finally narrowed to the point of being negligible. It's as if at long last we are able to understand and share our innermost struggles, as equals. And yet, retaining the role of oldest sister, I'm called upon for advice. And in giving it, I am at once relating to her and distinguishing myself - that is, seeing how our years still set me apart.
For the most part age translates to clarity, which is what allows me to give advice. I can see the different emotional components of any situation, tease them apart, and address them separately or together. There's nuance instead of the confusion that comes from being overwhelmed. The clarity comes, not just from age and experience, but intuition and intention and practice - that is, doing the work of self-reflection and behavior modification, with carefully considered input from others and from life itself.
Having been so intimately involved in the culinary world, it strikes me how similarly the same concepts apply to tasting and cooking. How, at the outset, things might taste "good" or "not good", with one hard-pressed to say exactly how, since everything is perceived at once and without nuance. But with the experience of eating different versions of different dishes, one might then be able to elaborate upon that singular taste and identify something as "too sweet" or "not salty enough". And then, with the accumulated practice of trying different recipes and adjusting for quantities of ingredients, one eventually becomes adept at identifying the different flavor profiles that each ingredient contributes. And not only that, but to know what and how to adjust, for a more rounded or balanced outcome.
So in my advice, I am teasing out the differing emotional ingredients, and suggesting those specific, minute adjustments. Because as a sister, I can only hope that a situation that blunted Jenny as "not so good" can eventually be perceived as having left a bittersweet aftertaste.