I've been noticing all the ways in which people respond to grief, and how I need/want different responses at different times. That has inspired me to create a menu of grief response options that a grieving person (griever) could choose from - curious if there are others you would offer beyond this?
- listen
- provide companionship, potentially in silence (ex: while griever is crying)
- affirm the love between you and griever
- affirm the love between griever and grievee
- affirm the grief in its depth/difficulty
- acknowledge the injustice of the loss (ex: sudden loss, not having had the opportunity to say goodbye) and how you wished things could have been different
- acknowledge the guilt/anxiety/etc. and affirm how griever did their best
- share grief that you've had in similar depth/difficulty
- share grief that you've had in a relationship like the one that griever and grievee had
- share what helped you in your grief
- describe how the grief may evolve based on your own experience
- acknowledge that you actually have no idea but that it seems really hard (see "affirm the grief")
- serve as a buffer between griever and other things/people that may be further emotionally taxing on them (ex: helping them decline invitations, redirecting those that may want to talk to them if they don't want to talk)
- provide a distraction (ex: going outside to get some fresh air, enjoying a bonding activity)
- help griever meet their basic needs (eat, drink, shower, sleep, etc.)
- describe ways that you can be supportive (available for spontaneous phone calls, able to bring meals, etc.)
- ask about additional ways you can be supportive