"And I remember looking at the two of you and seeing you together and thinking how you were really different with him. Much calmer. And you didn't shout at one another. And it made me so sad because it was like you didn't really need me at all. And somehow that was even worse than you and me arguing all the time because it was like I was invisible."
- from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
***
I have this penchant for setting myself aside and/or setting myself apart. I'm not sure when or how this came about.
I sometimes see acquaintences, or faces of people whose names I don't know, and I smile at them just in case they know me. But I don't assume they do. And I never think of myself as a face other people might recognize.
I sort of move in my own little world and when somebody recognizes me I sort of come out of myself to greet them.
It's a feeling like discreetness, like I'm between the lines people usually don't read.
I feel it especially when I'm photographing, or when I'm out of my contextual element (like in a foreign culture, trying not to be a sore thumb).
Not sticking out, but not blending in either.